Naughty Text Messages

• Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes you get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service, and sometimes you have to be happy with SELF SERVICE.

• The Elephant asked the camel "Why do you have boobs on you back?" The camel laughed and replied, "What a good question from someone with a big Dick on his face."

• QUESTION: Whats the difference between stress, fear and panic? ANSWER: Stress is when your wife is pregnant, fear is when your girlfriend is pregnant, and panic when both are pregnant.

• man1: My wife is crazy with cars. While asleep, holds my dick and says "primera, segunda"
  man2; Mine is worse. While asleep, takes my dick and says "Full tank Please!"

• Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested?
  Student: A teacher
  Teacher: ohh, i see! You son of a bitch! Get one whole sheet of MANILA PAPER long quiz, back to back.